Oh hey, it's me

she remembered who she was

and the game changed.

-lalah deliah

 Photo by Chelsea Francis

Photo by Chelsea Francis

I have spent  S O  M U C H  T I M E scouring Instagram and blog posts and websites looking for inspiration and motivation.  Some messages and signs that maybe would help things just “click” for me...in life, in business, in motherhood...  And yesterday…the click just happened.

In the morning, I was strugglin.  I was tired, unmotivated, and just had the Monday Meh’s.  I pushed my way through a workout and came home to make myself some food.  When I walked in the door I had the crazy rush of anxiety and overwhelm-ness and the feeling that I needed to do SOMETHING.  To clear my plate but fill my cup.  It’s actually really hard to put into words what that felt like and the clarity that came from it.  But here’s what I figured out:

 

In order to live my life intentionally, I need to get rid of STUFF

I have read, researched, and watched all things minimalism.  I’ve started to declutter and then found myself at Target buying something else that I don’t need.  But as I looked around me at all that I needed to clean up and tidy, I’ve just decided that I’m done with all the crap.  I want to get rid of the things that don’t bring meaning and joy to my life.  So I’m starting to de-clutter.  As I move from room to room, if there’s something I see that doesn’t make me smile, or that I can glance over without a care, then it’s no longer serving a purpose in my home.  With one exception…the kitchen.

I have a lot of kitchen stuff, dishes, pots, pans, cups an wine glasses.  An Impressive and slightly embarrassing collection of bowls.  But you know what- an immeasurable amount of joy comes from cooking for and feeding everyone who comes into my home.  I want people to be able to eat home cooked meals out of real dishes, off of real plates with real silverware.  Everything in my kitchen belongs there.  If you’re hungry, don’t want to cook, need a place to have a meal- COME TO MY HOUSE.  I’m ready for ya <3

 

I freakin love plants.

This is no secret.  If you walk into my home you will notice plants in every room.  I talk about them ALL THE TIME.  I will stop and touch them no matter where I am.  I am amazed at their colors, resilience, strength, and originality.  I want more and more and more of them.  Plants give me life.  They satiate my desire to care for things, nurture them, and watch them grow.  They are so incredibly beautiful.  They are life.  They are happiness. I want to be surrounded by them always.

 

I am attuned to my body.

The past couple of years, the last year especially, I have spent a lot of time experimenting and listening to my body.  Playing this little call and response, trial and error.  I have learned to listen to my mind, my intuition, my heart, my gut, and my physical form.  I spent such a long time giving myself some sort of label.  What diet I was following.  What workout plan I was following.  My roles in life.  Nah.  No mo’.  I’m just ME.  I’m always evolving.  Learning.  Transitioning through phases as gracefully as I can (hence my moon logo).  Transforming into a better, more authentic version of me.

 

I’m a damn good mom AND SO ARE YOU

I was going to write out an all original long sappy paragraph about this, but Karen Johnson of The 21st Century SAHM hit the nail on the head over and over and over.  

She wrote:

“My house is never clean. Like ever. I have friends (with kids) whose houses are spotless. Are they better mothers than me? Nope. Am I a better mother than them? Nope.

I work out every day. I have mom friends who don't exercise. (I mean other than running around like crazy people after their kids). Does that make either of us a better mom? Nope.

I have a friend who gave birth in a pool in her living room. I pushed mine out in a hospital bed after receiving a gift from the epidural fairy. Both of us are good moms.

I drink a beer or glass of wine (sometimes in front of my kids!) on occasion. I'm a good mom. My neighbor and good friend doesn't drink. Also a good mom.

I'm a yeller. I have a good friend who is quiet and extremely patient. I envy her. But we are both good moms.

I have friends who are super organic, chemical free, and dye free. My kids sometimes eat popsicles for breakfast. The cheap kind that are 50 for $2.00. Are either of us better than the other? Nope.

I swear, but not in front of my kids. Are you a bad mom if you do? Hell no.

I'm involved with my kids' school but I don't volunteer and live there every day. Are the moms who volunteer daily any better than those who never do? No. Am I incredibly grateful for the moms who volunteer every day and help the teachers? YES.

Are stay-at-home moms better than working moms? NO.

Are working moms better than stay-at-home moms? NO.

Are married moms better than single moms? NO.

Are you a better mom if you take your kids on exotic vacations? NO.

Can you be a good mom if you the closest thing you get to a vacation is the park? YES.

Can you be a good mom and have a super scheduled summer with lots of planned activities? Yep.

What about if your summer is lazy with no plans? Yep.

Do good moms let their kids watch TV? Yes.

Play video games? Yes.

What about if you say no? Also fine. Your choice. You're the mom. And a good one.

I'm a Christian. My friend and neighbor is Muslim. Another friend practices no religion at all. WE ARE ALL GOOD MOTHERS.

My other friend is gay. Her kids have TWO mothers. They are both good moms. 

I breastfed. My kids barely had formula. Am I better than moms who feed their babies formula? NO.

So can we all climb down off judgment mountain & give each other some grace? And all support one another? Just say Hey, motherhood is hard. You're doing a good job. You got this. 

Good shit, RIGHT?!  

You ARE doing a good job.  YOU GOT THIS.  And when you're feelin like you don't, hit me up and I will lift you up and compliment the shit out of you until you do.

 

Coaching is my calling.

Y’all.  This is a big one.  I’ve been talking about “launching” for so long now.  People keep asking me what I want to do as a Coach.  I have my answer memorized and rehearsed.  It comes out the same every time.  But I was never really happy with what I was saying… it wasn’t conveying what I really meant and felt.  The moment when all of the clicking into place happened, I decided that I am going to confidently go forth with MY version of Health Coaching.  The certification program that I did through Integrative Nutrition gave me extensive knowledge on nutrition and diet.  So I felt that that’s what I had to lead with.  But, if you’ve been following me for a little while now you know that most of my focus is on self love and authenticity and being your best version of you.  I felt guilt for not leading with nutrition. Like I’m some kind of phony or that most people are going to come to me hoping that I can quickly change their eating habits or help them lose weight fast.  But, nah.  That’s not how I want to do things.  I want to help people get to KNOW themselves.  To tackle the topics we all like to pretend don’t exist, or things that we sugar coat because we don’t want others to know just how much we’re struggling.

-Body image

-Motherhood/ pregnancy and cllllll of the feelings/emotions/worries that come with

-Relationships/ marriage

-Money

-Autonomy

-Self-care

-Authenticity

-Emotional health

-Eating habits

These are things we don’t TRULY and CANDIDLY talk about.  Or we can talk about them online or on social media, hidden behind the safety of a screen.  Where we're able to see and read what we want and to delete and scroll past what we don't like or don't want to hear. But we don't want to have these conversations in real life.  It's too scary.  Too much.  Too honest.  We apologize for our feelings, for who we are.  I want to help women stop doing that.  So.  If any of those topics resonate with you, P L E A S E reach out to me. 

Email me. 

Message me through the blog. 

Comment on this post. 

Find me on Instagram or Facebook.  

I’m no expert on these topics- quite the opposite, actually.  But I’ve struggled with each and every item on that list.  Every damn day I work hard towards fine tuning my relationship with each of them.  And I live for the magic that happens when women work together and build each other up.

 

WHEW. 

 

Yah.  All of that clarity literally happened in a matter of seconds.  

 

It’s pretty random.

Kinda out there.

Weird AF.

Still needs work.

 

But that’s me.  

 

What about you?

 

xoxo

Candice